How do you find the right love of your life? An unanswered million-dollar question

How do you find the right love of your life? The unanswered million-dollar question

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Unraveling the Enigma of Meeting Your Life’s Ideal Companion

Pretty often we are confused about what we want from someone in a relationship, that we end up hurting ourselves and the other person in the relationship. The way I see it, relationships get messy when both parties are not sure of what to offer and expect from the other person, that it brings in a world of chaos where both parties tend to suffer.

Sometimes people think that there is one single person on the earth who is born for you, who is going to take care of you, love you the way you deserve, and everything in life is gonna be super awesome in life from there. It makes them wonder why I should suffer in life, why can’t God make me meet that person right away, so I don’t go through all this.

I strongly believe timing is everything. “You” today is not the same as “You” 5 years ago, and probably “You” 10 years ago. As humans we are constantly in the process of learning, enriching, deep diving, and consuming life in the way it is. You might be a wrong fit for someone today, but as life happens and makes you go through difficult stuff, it will make you organically undergo a huge transformation that will make you a different person from who you are today.

There are 788 crore people in the world, nobody is born right for you. You have a certain set of life, you meet your friends, you date someone, you fall into wrong relationships, and make terrible mistakes. And then life punishes you and shows you the ugly side, the dark part of the world you never knew existed. It questions your ability to trust the world again and you might probably lose the hope of ever falling in love again.

But then one day amidst this feeling of dejection comes a slow transition, slowly one day at a time you progress towards your healing journey, when you start to reflect on the mistakes you had done, the red flags you missed noticing, the likes and dislikes of your own, and you will figure it out… You will figure out what you want, and most importantly what you don’t want in someone. You become selective wrt who you wanna invite into your life coz by then you’d have realized that the entry of people into your life has a huge toll — The energy they bring in, the influence they have, the changes they could bring; You understand the effect of all of this and you learn to listen to your gut little more, coz you know, your mind/body has now gotten a sense of what fits your life and what doesn’t.

And when you are in that stage, at that point, you will have the ability to filter out the negative energy from your life. You will still make mistakes, it’s not that you have mastered the art of living and have become your perfect version already. It is just, this time, you accept the mistakes & flaws and you embrace them openly like comforting evening embraces breezy zephyr. And it is this open acceptance of your identity, your personality, and your imperfection that makes you the best fit for the world.

And then, when the time is right, the universe will make you meet someone, someone who makes you feel comfortable, feel loved, feel accepted the way you are, someone who doesn’t make you feel anxious or stuck; someone who knows the value of who you are, and treats you just right. You will meet that someone and if it’s destined to be maybe you will end up together.

But even in the togetherness, you will get misunderstandings, fights, and petty issues, coz life is not all rainbows and sunshine. But this time you will know how to navigate through those misunderstandings. Slowly with time, you both will know how to be mindful around your significant other. You will make mistakes, and you will Sc#ew up, but you will still figure it out together. You will always figure it out together.

And do you know why this time, the relationship was not toxic or a wrong fit? It wasn’t because the guy was perfect; It was you. It’s because this time you knew what you wanted. It all started with self-awareness of first you knowing yourselves, who you are, what you want, what you don’t want, and what you wanna attract in your life. When you become conscious of that and mindful of who you wanna let in your life, you will make every effort to ensure it stays a safe space for you and everyone around you.

I hope you are aware of this, if not- there are three attachment styles in a relationship — Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure attachment. And this newly found relationship with this person will be so peaceful that even if you are someone with anxious style, slowly you will adopt secure attachment and for the first time in your life you will feel at “peace”, you will get an understanding of what calmness and peace means. And in that moment you will know, every struggle in your life has made sense this moment, that, it is in all those moments, the good, the bad, the dark, the light, the ugly, the unhappy, and the ones that made you almost give up — it those set of moments that will make you who you are and bring you to this point in destiny — Right Self, Right Partner at Right time.

And in that infinite moment, you will know,
It was all worth it.

Coz this peace,
It’s what you deserved all your life.